Thursday, August 21, 2008

Memo to Mommy

I have a 4 and a half year old that has the world's sassiest mouth! Just about everyday I find myself asking "Will this stage ever end? When will it end?". In a lot of ways she's very mature for her age and I think I tend to forget that she really is only 4 and not 14. I think I expect too much.


Yesterday we had another one of "those" outings. I was stressed (as usual) and cranky because she feels like wandering around the store, climbing under the shopping cart (ya know the space where you stick your bulky items) and ingoring me when I speak to her. We rarely go anywhere without making a scene and then leaving with me all irritated and her crying. I found myself crying and telling God that I was sooooo fed up with this nonsense. I just wish that we could have one outing go smoothely. I asked God if the problem was me. Maybe I needed to mellow out. Maybe I needed to find humor in the craziness that shopping with my girls brings. Maybe I need to work on my patience skills. And of course, the answer was "yes". lol Not exactly what I wanted to hear but after pouting and moping I decided to take ownership of my own self and work on these things in my own life.


I think God was trying to get a point across to me because the September issue of Parents Magazine arrived a few days ago and I came across this little article and it just made perfect sense. Okay, Lord, point taken. :) Enjoy!









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148 comments:

Kjl2003 said...

That is so funny b/c I read that same article too. I think I don't have as much patience as I would like too also sometimes. Who knew raising children would be this hard?!!?!?

Love yah & hang in there :)

Scribbit said...

I have to constantly remember those same things--it's easy to get impatient.

Toni said...

I have not read my issue yet. I love these. The hospital or someone should regularly mail these to parents every couple of months from the time a baby is 18 months at least until they are 5 (if not older). Mine is just 21 months so I can't speak past that. :) Lovely post!

lonestar818 said...

Great reminders!

Laura said...

I have to remember that stuff all the time too.

cherish.photography said...

Hello my fellow NM internet buddy! I love the signs! Thanks for sharing!

SugarandSpice said...

I locve those sayings. They are SO true!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I can totally relate ... one of my girls is extra prone to melt downs and there were times I felt like I couldn't go anywhere with her. My husband used to tease me and tell me I was basically telling her, "Stop acting like a 2 year old" when I was demanding certain things of her! So those sayings are totally true. Congrats on FB today at SITS!

Collette@Jesuslovesmums said...

Hi stopping by from SITS and so glad I found this blog! I have an almost 5 year old boy who is exactly the same! It is so hard and I constantly ask God to help me. I also have a 2.5 year old daughter who is terrible at sleeping. Totally empathise with you and love love love your blog and design.
Collette xxx

Transparent Mama said...

Stopping by from SITS! As a mother of four boys, these are great reminders- they really are just little and trying to learn.

MrsM said...

It's all so very true. I think every parent gets frustrated when their kids go bazurk (and all kids do at some point) but we just have to remind ourselves they won't be like that forever.

piecemeal people said...

Aww...sniff, sniff. Thanks for sharing those. Words to remember. And to show my temper-ridden husband. :)

Happy SITS Day!

egt said...

Wow, awesome words...I had a day like that today as my three year old threw a tantrum in the middle of a museum...

congrats on your day!

Mama Mel said...

Happy SITS day! These are great! I'll have to write them down so I remember them throughout the day... :)

Jennifer said...

What a nice reminder this is.

Melanie said...

visiting from SITS.

a great post. very honest.
sending you lots of love from austria.

JanMary said...

Came here from SITS (and Northern Ireland!)

Love this, and I just posted yesterday how I SURVIVED shopping with my 3 kids the other day - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Enjoy your day L :)

Jeannie Finelli, RN said...

My son routinely hid in the center of a clothes rack somewhere in any given store. I'd have to get on the ground so I could spot his feet.

theselfloveproject said...

love it..

its just funny and true...

Drahdrah said...

Oh my goodness, did i ever need to read that today. My patience is also wearing thin, and I am starting to think that I am the problem too. Great post. Congrats on being the FB. Happy Wednesday !

kAyE said...

my daughter is growing up so fast now and is hyperactive that i find my patience wearing thin at times, too. this is a very insightful post to read. have to keep these in mind always. thank you so much for sharing!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Ohmygosh! So needed this today. My almost five year old is driving me batty right now, and now I feel better!

Thank you!!!

John Deere Mom said...

I love this and it's so, so true! Happy SITS day!

Yaya said...

These are great!

Becky @ Our Sweet Peas said...

Too true, too true. I always find myself trying to "reason" with the boys while they are in the midst of a tantrum. Good insight! Happy SITS day to you!

parentingBYdummies said...

Thanks for the reminder. We too are stuck in the naughty mouth four year old phase. This week I was told that, "headaches don't keep you from doing things, they just hurt," when I told him that I couldn't play a game with him because I had one. Then he called me a Gremlin. This phase had better end soon. He's getting too smart, though, so I'm imagining it can only get worse:(! Hope you have a happy SITS day!

parentingBYdummies said...

Thanks for the reminder. We too are stuck in the naughty mouth four year old phase. This week I was told that, "headaches don't keep you from doing things, they just hurt," when I told him that I couldn't play a game with him because I had one. Then he called me a Gremlin. This phase had better end soon. He's getting too smart, though, so I'm imagining it can only get worse:(! Hope you have a happy SITS day!

Life with the Lees said...

This is such a great post! I wish that all mom's could read it...it is a great reminder! Stopping by from SITS! :)

cat said...

We should all remember those things. Funny though, I am so enjoying my 4 year old girl. I love this age - 3 was tough. Maybe I have a lot coming to me!

Trish said...

I always love a good quote!!! THX

mommytoalot said...

Great post. I have a two and a half yr old who is quite challenging..those are super reminders.
thanks
ps
congrats on being FB

meandtheblueskies said...

Great list and very smart. You hang in there cause you sound like a pretty good mommy to me. Enjoy your SITS day.

Little Miss Baker said...

I have lots to learn haha Happy SITS Day!! :)

Cindy @ Chalk it Up! said...

Thank you for the reminder!

Congratulation on your big day in the spotlight!

Have a great day!
Cindy

confused homemaker said...

There's an old saying that if you pray for patience God gives you ways to cultivate being patient. I have many days were I think that's the case with my kids, LOL. Thanks for the reminder.

Congrats on being FB! Enjoy the day.

Stitch 'N Love said...

I have a 3 and 1/2 year old little girl (among other kidlets) and this really spoke to me!

And yes, the 3 year old and the 14 year old DO act alike!

Have a great SITS day!

Mariah said...

Do I ever need to hear this right now. My girls made a "fort" in their room with all blankets I just packed away. We're moving.

Susan said...

hehe - great. I love those. I'll be adding this blog to my subs so I can remember those when I need them hopefully in a year or two!

Jen said...

This is perfect. It should be absolutely necessary that when discharged from the hospital the staff gives us an envelope that says "open when baby is 3" with all of these quotes in it!

Happy SITS day!

Tiffany said...

Patience. I could really use some. But I still want to tackle that sassy tone in my 6 year old's voice. Good reminders you gave us about kids though. Congrats on your Saucy day!

countryfriedmama said...

Fabulous reminder. As a teacher, I always looked at my own behavior when things got nuts in my classroom. For some reason, as a parent, I forget to do this. We do have some control, at least in the way we react.

isarose said...

I am in the same boat with you. So tired of being ignored.

Thanks for the quotes.

Lisa Mom of 2 Boys said...

Great post. I'm the owner of your 4 year old's twin - a 5 year old snotty boy. I love him though - lots. Stopping by from SITS.

glenna said...

Happy Sits day. A thought provoking post. :-)

Mrs. Fish aka Two Fish said...

The whole "Patience is a virtue" is a crock....its a learned skill in my opinion and a tough one too! Just know there are days and thank goodness they grow out of that stage and then they begin to argue with you non-stop about everything.

Happy SITS Day!

Sandy said...

Stopping in from SITS to say hello and Happy Day! Enjoy the attention and have patience with your little one.

Stephanie said...

Hello from SITS...

...ah, yes... trying so hard to enjoy the precious gifts of our children while trying not to be frustrated at their antics. :-)

I'm constantly being reminded...!

Anti-Supermom said...

Words of wisdom - and so beautifully put in those little boxes :) I should really get a subscription to Parents.

Congrats on your FB day!

Robin said...

I no longer have this problem when shopping with my girls......they are both in their 20s now.
Yes!....Thank you God. :-D

Life of a Stepmama said...

I completely understand my 2 year old acts like he cant hear me, it drives me crazy!

Jen said...

I think most Mom's feel like you. I too have high expectations and have to take a deep breath and say "they're just kids". Good luck and Happy SITS Day.

Jen said...

I think most Mom's feel like you. I too have high expectations and have to take a deep breath and say "they're just kids". Good luck and Happy SITS Day.

Jen said...

I think most Mom's feel like you. I too have high expectations and have to take a deep breath and say "they're just kids". Good luck and Happy SITS Day.

Laura said...

Those are good things to remember. They do grow out of that stage only to start again when they turn 13. Joy.

Astrid said...

Ah yes....thanks so much for the gentle reminder (actually I could use a kick in the you-know-where). LOL! I struggle with this daily as I'm sure most parents do. I've finally decided to chill out on the cleaning up bit and let things slide for the summer. My oldest daughter is acting like a teen (she apparently knows everything) and she's not even six yet!

Sharon said...

Great Reminder! Thanks for being honest and sharing your struggles. Oh, I've been there!!

Congrats on the FB day and enjoy it (I'm a new SITSta but having a blast!)

Rose said...

awwww. just what I needed this morning. I prayed this very prayer this mroning. God give me patience...those lil butter beans aren't even up yet! thats an answered parayer in itself!

Creative Junkie said...

Sigh - my girls are older but just reading those little snippets brings me right back to those days and yes, you definitely do miss them when they're older, even though at the time, you think you'll never survive them.

Amy said...

Wow, I LOVE those thoughts. It makes so much sense, and they really are a trial to our patience and sanity and everything else, but they are just so darn cute, you gotta love them! Hang in there!

koopermom said...

Wow, I really needed to read this today!! I have a four year old boy. Enough said.

Bella Crafts said...

Love the "words of wisdom!" I remember telling my daughter that if she had the energy to throw a tantrum, then she was going to use that energy in a brand new way...so I had her jump off her bed to get the tantrum energy going in a different direction, and it worked! She had so much fun jumping off the bed, that the tantrum became a short lived memory. And lucky for me, she never made jumping off her bed a daily habit! Love your blog!

Happy SITS day to you!

Atlanta said...

Stopping by From SITS!! =) This post is just what I needed. Having both of the kids at home instead of just my 3 year old Daughter has be..um... trying! And I avoid going to the store at all costs and wait for my husband to get home so I dont end up CRYING in the car in the parkinglot of Target because I had to carry two kicking and screaming kids (who are probably still screaming and kicking me in the car) out of the store over my shoulder while taking in all the dissaproving *tsk*tsk* looks along the way. =) Being a Mom is just do Darn Joyous ;)

Rbarakat said...

Love this post! How easily we forget! Hmm.. I hope this is not one those preplanned moments from God- where I might neeed this today! :0!

Scrappy Girl said...

Happy SITS day! Love these little quotes...especially the tantrum one...makes me want to go hug my 2 little ones.

Mighty M said...

Those are great reminders for those of us with small children, thanks!

Teresha and Damon said...

Came over from SITS to say congrats on being FB for a day!

Double Dipped Sweets said...

Perfect. Thank you for this reminder.

Hi from SITS!

PS- Can I steal these for my blog??? Let me know! http://doubledippedsweets.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Lacie E. said...

I too have a four year old that acts so much older than that and in return we treat him so much older. These thoughts were such great reminders patients, thank you for sharing!

Tonya said...

Great post! Happy SITS day!

Kari said...

Great reminders for all parents! Very sweet post.

Over from SITS to say hello.

Elizabeth said...

Thank you for those reminders - I really needed them, especially today! My munchkin is starting his terrible two's, and sometimes I forget that he's little and lose my patience. Happy SITS FB Day, too!

Miranda said...

Some of those memos were directed at me...and my LO is only 3 months! Happy SiTS day!

Music Savvy Mom said...

I had seriously just done and internal count to ten in my head before I read your post. (My three year old is bouncing a ball in the house...I think it's time for the park. lol.)

So glad I popped in from SITS - I needed to read that today!

tommy said...

This is fantastic. My sister is expecting...I'm going to have to share these with her because she freaks out around kids in general...I wanna do all I can to prevent her freaking out on her own once it gets here, lol.

Great post.

jori-o said...

Just what I needed to hear! I'm almost teary (clearly I'm close to the edge!!) Thanks=)

Kimi said...

Oh boy am I guilty as charged. I am definitely one to expect too much behavior wise. My hubby sometimes has to sit me down and say, "Babe, they are JUST kids."

Melinda said...

Yes! Yes! Yes! From the perspective of a mommy whose oldest is now 12, let me just tell you that you are on the right track!

I stressed out and overacted so much when she was little and I didn't just enjoy her. She was stressed all the time as a result of my stress, which just made things worse.

I still struggle to mellow out, find the humor, but I'm better. God has been working on me for a long time. I just wish I'd listened earlier!

Stopping by from SITS!

Kim Milius said...

Such cute sayings!

thatgirlblogs said...

little girls are sassy -- my 5 year old likes to push my buttons. It's hard!

BlogBaby said...

Don't you just hate when the problem is YOU?!

Nothing like a gentle reminder from God to "eat crow". ;)

BlogBaby's BabyMama

roadrunner201 said...

Oh, sweet! Thanks for the reminder!
Happy SITS day!

Multiple personalities.. said...

All very true sayings, and excellent reminders for those days when it's just so difficult to get throuh it all. Nice to meet you via SITS!

Michelle said...

Sometimes it is us...and it sounds like God showed you that.

But don't overlook the fact that sometimes it's them BECAUSE of us. Sometimes instead of being patient and TRAINING them to behave the way we want them to we lose our patience and just get upset. I'm so faulty of that. I raise my voice instead of getting up off the couch.

Discipline works so much better when I make sure my children do what I've told them to do...and sometimes that means I have to make an effort.

All that being said...I dont really know what your discipline methods are...and you didn't ask for my help...but...LOL.

I always ahve to remind EACH of my children EVERY time we go into the store what the rules are...we have a few:

1. Touch the cart at all times.

2. Don't ask for anything which includes saying how much you would love to have something. (I will usually buy treats for children who remember rules.)

3. Move out of the way of other shoppers.

4. Keep your hands OFF the merchandise.

That usually buys me about an hour. My kids can't last longer than that.

Hope something I've said helps. and it does get better. I remember 4 1/2 being one of the worst years for my now 9 year old. 9 (10 next month) is getting a lot better. LOL...so only 5 more years.

Tara said...

LOL!! too cute! ain't that the truth! Happy SITS day!

Juliet Grossman said...

Those signs are hilarious! I love "Don't try to reason with me when I'm having a tantrum - trust me, I can't hear you over my own screaming." It's so true lol. I have a 7 and 3 yr old and my 7 yr old was NEVER like the way my 3 yr old can be. Shopping trips are THE worst. It's such a stressful time. It always happens when you absolutely, positively MUST buy some necessary item, like milk or bread or toilet paper, too, so "just leaving the store" isn't an option.

I guess they do grow up...

Melissa said...

I can SO relate to this!

Faith Imagined said...

Love this!

Priscilla said...

Can you sendthese reminders to my inbox EVERY morning :D

hehehe

I tell myself things like this everynight....i am so going to miss it no matter how "bad" it is now.

Kelly said...

Wow for a minute there I thought you were living a day in my life. Ok point taken they are only little for a litte while. Happy SITS day

{leah} said...

Thank you, I need this. I love my boys, but somedays....

Happy FB day

Melissa said...

Hey, congrats on being chosen the FB! Cute blog. I tried clicking on the widget for comment luv and it tells me I have to be invited to join. Can you help me out with that?
Thanks.

Helene said...

Stopping by from SITS!

This is such an awesome post...so beautifully written! I have the same issue as well...so you're not alone. I get easily frustrated with my kids too and I tend to rush them through things, rather than slow down and enjoy things through their eyes. In fact, this morning I keep nagging them to get ready so we can meet some friends at the park in 15 minutes and they're too busy fooling around and singing songs. So I thought I'd come online and "de-stress" and now I realize that it's more important for them to have fun singing silly songs and wasting time than it is to be stressed out over getting to the park on time. My friends will just have to understand. And if they don't...well, then I'm gonna send them the link to this post!!!

Sarah said...

Well, I don't have kids of my own, but I am dealing with my fiance's 14 year old. Heaven help me! I'm trying to be more easy going/not getting in her "business". We'll see how it goes. She's only here for a few more weeks!

Happy SITS day!

(army)Wife said...

Happy SITS Day!

I needed this post so much! I'm going through a spell right now where I can't decide if I'm a bad mom or a good mom, if I need more patience or if I'm just taking it all in stride because this is just what happens when Daddy deploys. Thank you for giving me some insight :)

carma said...

Well said all!

Joy said...

And it doesn't get any easier in ten years either. Hope that helps. LOL

Congrats on your SITS day!

Connie Weiss said...

I need to paste these to my wall.....And I think I will.

HAPPY SITS DAY!

Lynsey said...

I feel the same way, almost daily. My oldest is 5.

I may bookmark this page for when I need reminding. You know, maybe, um, every day? lol.

Leigh said...

Great reminders! Thanks!

greedygrace said...

truer words were never spoken! My 3 year old is exactly the same way, and I often have to remind myself that she's only 3!

Happy SITS day!

Pricilla said...

Happy SITS day. heh heh
My kid is trouble too. The hopping kind. He hops here, he hops there...but he IS a goat!

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

I love this! Happy SITS Day.

Mindy said...

My #4 drives us nuts, but I know it will all be worth it! Thanks for sharing! Congrats on being SITS featured!

Mindy
Adopt a 'Do - Cute Girls Hairstyles

Jen said...

thanks for those. I so need to be reminded of that.

Kekibird said...

Wow, those are powerful in such a small way. Thanks for the reminder. My 3.5 yo boy is toughie too. Makes simple outings end in tears and they are usually MY tears! So I completely get it!

Happy FB Day over at SITS!

Ashley said...

We don't ever realize how important it is to enjoy all the time we have with our children, whether its the happy times or the more stressful times. Once there are older we will regret not chilling out a little.

Great post!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Oh, boy did I need to read that this afternoon!!

Katie said...

Oh these are sweet!

I hope that you are having a GREAT SITS Day!

Marrdy said...

Great advice. Remember too when she is 17!

Tranquility said...

So true - all great reminders!! I should print these out and post them EVERYWHERE around the house for those times I'm about to pull my hair out. ;)

Genny said...

Stopping by from SITS. This is so cute; loved it!

Rachel said...

So sweet and true. Our Lord is so kind and patient with us... even when we're the one's acting like 4 yr. olds. :)

Bitter Sweet Moments said...

Those are so very true!! Stopping by from SITS.

La Belle Mere UK said...

Great post! As a stressed step-mother (who can't always rely on a biological bond to keep her sane!!) it's just the reminder I needed!

Love your blog. Happy FB day!

B xxx

Star Forbis said...

Cute post! And so true! Congrats on being the featured Blogger today! Take some time for yourself and enjoy! :)

Lisa said...

Happy SITS day! Great post!! I have a child just like that..good luck is wha I say!! :)

Jessica said...

Yep - truer words were never spoken.

C. Beth said...

That is some good stuff. Thank you for sharing it.

Kristin said...

Ok, I need to print those out and post them around my house. Priceless!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Great advice. I think every mother should print these out and hang them on the wall. I'll add to the collection with one from my own wall.

"Many times, when I was having a hard time with one of my children. God would always remind me that He was having a harder time with me than I was with them."

Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

I have no idea who this guy is, but he's very wise, isn't he?

K said...

I have a wild two year old son.

I can completely relate to this post.

Helen McGinn said...

Gosh, 121 comments! Oh...make that 122...congratulations on your SITS day! x

Mel said...

oh wow, I think I needed to hear this; it seems that my 7 year old is starting to "come into his own." He's starting to get pickier and pickier, and talk about mouthy....all of this happening very suddenly.....like my baby is suddenly gone....I needed to hear this yesterday when we were in the craft store....:)LOL

Kris said...

Awesome post that so many of us can relate to!! Happy SITS day!

Ali said...

Aw, I love this! Very true.

Perry Family said...

thanks for sharing! i need to be reminded of this daily!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

wow! I need to see those everyday before I go home from work!

Stopping over from SITS

Days of Whine & Noses said...

oh I know that feeling all too well these days with my almost 4 year old PLUS a 14 year old in the house!

visiting from SITS!

BrnEyedGal said...

Oh WOW...I loved this post! (My son just did what you described and yes, I have prayed to God already too! LOL)

Gonna go check out that magazine artice....Thanks. :)

Just love your blog, congrats SITSta!!!

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

I think of tantrums as a very little person's way of dealing with a world too big for them. Hopefully I can keep that perspective when my baby girl starts having tantrums.

I highly recommend the book "Unconditional Parenting" by Alphie Kohn, just FYI.

ungirdledpassion said...

Really sweet! I would add, "Enjoy me now, because no matter what I do, it's nothing compared to when I hit puberty through graduation!" Happy SITS day from a new SITSta!

The Redhead Riter said...

When you start to get impatient, stop, step back, and think of your child as a little person that needs your guidance, trusts you more than anyone and loves you so much. Just those few moments and thoughts will help you cope better and gain patience.

Tell your daughter that the middle school years are HELL and that the girls are EVIL LITTLE WITCHES...LOL. Really, those years are supposed to be the hardest for girls. Their hormones kick in and their bodies changes in so many ways while their personalities also change. She needs to find a few, and I mean a few good friends, then she should be involved in SO MANY ACTIVITIES that she is exhausted. Several reasons...she will be too tired to get into trouble -- if she is shunned by one or two girls, she will have so many other girl "friends" that it won't matter so much -- it will help develop her personality. Whew...sorry I wrote so much. I lived through those teeter totter years with Alyssa and know how hard they are for the girls. Good luck.

Stopping by from SITS today!

Reeni♥ said...

Came from SITS to say hi. This is such a sweet post! I hope your enjoying your day being featured!

Rachel said...

I like this one:

"Stop freaking out about the mess! There will always be time to clean - but how often do we get to make mud pies?"

Cindi @ Moomette's Magnificents said...

My girls are grown but it's a gentle reminder for my young grandchildren! Thanks for sharing.
Happy SITS!

J said...

Happy SITS day! Great post! That age is sooooo difficult! (my daughter is 3 and I can't believe some of the stuff that she says! Sooooo rude!) But I know that ultimately I have to chill out!

Chickdey said...

That made my day thank you!

Mariel said...

Great reminders! Fun blog!

Mariel
www.oneshetwoshe.com

Kimberly said...

So true, happy SITS day!

Single Mama NYC said...

Oooh, those were great! Thank you for sharing; I needed those reminders!

Bear Bunch said...

I so needed those reminders after today. Thanks for sharing!

D2the4thPower said...

Oh wow! I just blogged about disciplining my sassy 3 1/2 year old! I definitely needed to read this! Just stopping by from SITS. Congrats on being the FB!!

simply bryant said...

how many times i wished i had heard these about a year within in our foster parenting. im thinking they could've saved many pouty moments ;) hang in there! SITSista!

Lani said...

These are great, and just what I needed to hear today:)

Alicia said...

oh so true! what a great post!!

Shimmy Shimmy said...

Hi, Stopping by from sits! Thanks for the reminder's.

Pink & Green Mama said...

Here from SITS, thanks for the reminders, we all need them!!

Tattered Rebel said...

I have no idea how I ended up on your site, but can i just say...THANK GOD! I was reading your story about your daughter back in August.. and I am sitting here just laughing.. my 9 year has been cake.. although sassy now.. it is my 5 year BOY! Lord.. I swear sometimes I need a little blue pill to make it through the days! You totally ROCK mamacita! I am so glad to have found this slice of joy!